i'm sorry, i couldn't help myself.



annnnd ... priceless.

off to bed!

~ jon

okay, so funny story.

i was just chillin' in the front area between the two sets of doors at the epic center, waiting for mi madre to come pick me up. i was just sittin' there, staring off into space, and this group of people comes by [father mother, sister, brother] and are just talking. as they walk by me, they get strangely boisterous and start laughing. i don't pay any attention, and then just as they leave my line of sight, the father comes back and looks at me.

then he yells to his famfam, 'he blinked!'

i then laughed my ass off.

they thought i was a mannequin? wow. i'm honored. i guess that means i dress well and have a pretty face.

weird. i thought i looked like shit today, too.

strange how that happens.

just thought i'd share that moment of ass-laughing-off-dom.

~ jon

p.s. tomorrow i have a half day [b/c of no efa, the rest of school has a full day ... muahahaha ...] and friday i have no school [the rest of school has a half day, but evening classes aka when my efa would be, but i don't have efa ... muahahaha] so i have only a half day between me and spring break! fuck yeah!

<3

from mattress police

well, i've been decent lately.

i tried to go see seven passages today, but they were sold out.

damn.

ummm ... that's my story. along with my next couple weeks being hella hectic.

~ jon

the link of the day:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

that's all i have to say. other than that i'm waiting for final cut pro to export, and it's taking fucking forever.

AH.

~ jon

marriedtothesea.com

~ jon

well, well ... this has been quite the night. day. morning. thing.

josiah saw fireworks across the way, and he said they were 'weird': exploding down instead of up, like someone was bombing someone. so we, being the dumbasses that we are, went and chased them. we pulled out of our house in the eclipse spider [damn fast car!] and there was someone who pulled up behind us as we were pulling out. we decided to go through the school parking lot, and this dude followed us. [white bronco, actually.] that was fishy enough for us. we sped through, and the dude was following us, but turned just after we left the parking lot.

we lost him for a while, but ended up chasing each other through the neighborhood, and at one point this dude parked on the curb [bad parking job, dude.] and just as we flew by, he got out and came for the passenger side door, but we lost him after that. [i was in the passenger side. i was scared as fuck. i could've sworn he was holding something, a gun perhaps, but i couldn't be sure.] we chased him some more, saw him pull in to his house, and then saw him come back out.

pretty much we thought he was going to kill us, so we came back home, got out all the guns and crossbows and god knows what else, cleared the area [please clear the area ...] and then i parked my ass on the roof to make sure he didn't come back. a police car drove by, but we were all in black and he didn't come down our street.

let me tell you, i thought i was going to die several times, given that we were spinning out and going seventy down a neighborhood street. or faster.

damn, i love turbo! but i was SO scared.

adrenaline rush!

but now back to why i was posting ... i found this!

Royalty Free Music and Sound Effects Download the music and sound effects you need for your multimedia project today at Partners In Rhyme.

hmmm ... royalty free sound effects? hell yeah!

[check it out, check it out ...]

~ jon

http://view.break.com/318201 - Watch more free videos

alright. some REALLY weird shit has been happening with this house today.

and it's not even a full moon, which usually explains all. it's pretty fucking close, though ...

the foxes come out when it's a full moon, and they've been super busy. they keep coming around here, and we wouldn't mind so much if they didn't already kill three of tonie's bunnies. damn bastards. so josiah wipped out his gun to go searching for them the second time after mercedes [their dog] chased the shit out of one the first time, but he didn't end up shooting anything.

i just keep hearing weird things around the house. and that's an uncommon occurrence.

of course, there are six planets aligned along the azimuthal line [the line on which the sun travels], but there usually are. i looked at a fast-forward view on stellarium and it shows the same alignment for the next week.

so that's not anything special, but geez.

well, we're all okay, but the bunnies are a bit antsy as well. they don't quite relax like they usually do [god, that sounds dirty!].

oh well. we'll have to go kill one of those damn foxes like your usual red-blooded straight hunter. except we're protecting bunnies, instead of just for fun.

damned bitches.

wow, 3.19 pm. i should probably get onto that whole bed thing ...

~ jon

"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

"Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .
--

from tonie. so true! so fucking true ... except their cat is deaf. ha, that's fun to mess around with ... sneaking up behind him is the most gratifying experience ever. no joke. he jumps like three feet ...

alright. well, i hung another twenty door hangers today. i know, so many, right?

oh well. shit happens. i need to invest in an ipod or something to keep me amused. i just end up talking to myself the entire time ... gets a bit awkward, especially when walking by people.

oops.

~ jon

p.s. dells are shit. complete and utter shit.

weird. very weird.

how do they get his hand like that? my god, so scandalous! poor benedict the sixteenth. or whatever his number is.

damn, it's early ... [late]

~ jon

Ping Pong Gun - video powered by Metacafe

coolness!



make coin rings! i MUST try this, if i can find a good coin for it ...

also, coin cutting for charms. cool!

~ jon

gummy bear love. hilarious. you must see it. it's almost better than yesterday's audio illusion ... which made me almost pass out. wow.

i want to do something tonight. sister hammy teresa!!!! ...

~ jon

juliana has written a new song, and she thinks it may be the song that makes her a one hit wonder! completely a cappela, it has audiences from all over the universe raving at its majestic portrayal of the life of a poor catholic child that gives up all forms of sex for lent! heart-wrenching in its content, this amazing piece of art is [in]appropriate for all ages. if you like her music, please leave her a comment! she would greatly appreciate this first step towards healing. "juliana helps those who help themselves." bitch. isn't that bad grammar? ... perhaps not. juliana isn't an english major, so perhaps she should read an english book.

or, if you really like her music, you could get her signed onto a record label, or perhaps get her an iphone. she'd like that.



but only if they vibrate.



http://myspace.com/julianastein

~ jon

p.s. juliana made this up while in the bathroom. quite the inspiration, eh?

michelle: can you get aids from giving a blow job?
tim: i have no clue. i think so ...
michelle: ... because that would just suck!

nice. love it.

~ jon

Husband: What do you want to do?
Wife: I want to get a massage.
Husband: You want a Chinese massage? I'll put on stilletos and walk on your back.

~ jon

p.s. i bought some creepy drag clothes from polly and esther's! they're beautiful in that ... fugly housewife way. i love it! pictures to come ... and NOT like that!

Girl: So, did he even tell her?
Guy: Of course not! What would he say? 'Well, you see, Raya, this one time... I fucked a door'?

--Q train

Overheard by: shawn

what the hell? i love it. just a sampling of random shtuff from www.overheardinnewyork.com

and i subscribed to their feed. absolutely hilarious.

~ jon

so wind ensemble was testing out decibel levels because the school district isn't giving us any money, whereas they are giving lots of money to random people [like making a new stadium? why? for the five home games? like 30million dollars? WHY?] so pretty much we tested it.

guess how loud?

( click here for answer )

~ jon

~ jon

go HERE!

your hits count! we are hoping to make it onto ebay's front page!

thank you so much!

~ jon ;-)

p.s. this happens to be my lates project... so please help me out with it! it'd be shweet if you could let all your friends know about it...

thanks!

p.p.s. i actually know these songs!

---

I adopted a cute lil' dragon fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

---

---

yes. dost thou like? shall i just say that making art helps even the most awful times be better. hence they aren't so awful anymore. thanks for the love and care!

correction just for the record: drew rocks. i forgot him in my madness about guys. just so y'all know.

i love you guys!

~ jon